The Unspoken Contract

When we adopt a pet our thoughts are filled with the practicalities of feeding, where they'll sleep and so on. Little thought is given to an unspoken yet vitally important part of owning a pet. I call this the unspoken contact and it is works like this:

When you adopt a pet, your obligations are:

• To give it as good a life as possible
• To ensure that it is physically and mentally nurtured and cared for and protected
• Making sure it knows that it is loved

The unspoken part of this contract is one most of us dont want to contemplate:

What are our responsibilities to our pet at the end of their life?

Having just been there, I can't emphasise strongly enough just how important this really is. You really need to think this through.

Short of natural death or death from injury, Most pets succumb to illness. How you choose to act at this stage will play a big role in how you feel about your relationship with your pet for the rest of your life. Most important of all, it'll also dictate how your pet lives and how its life ends.

When faced with a terminally ill pet, the plain truth of the matter is that there are no good options.

If you try to prolong their life they may suffer end up enduring a lot more pain that leads to an agonising death.

It goes without saying that this is a breach of your contractual obligations to your pet.

The question you most need to ask yourself in such a dire situation is this:

Are you prolonging your pets life for your own needs or for your pets?

If you are in this terrible situation you really need to have a frank discussion with your vet.

By now you'll be feeling as if the ground has gone out from under your feet. The pain and conflict you'll feel at this stage is intense beyond description. I cant put into words what you'll be feeling right now.

This might sound crazily difficult (trust me it is). but you'll need to set aside the emotional typhoon swirling around in your head to ask your vet these questions -

• Is your Pet in any pain and discomfort? 
• Is the prognosis is terminal? 
• Are there any treatment options that'll save your pet and give them a decent quality of life?

If the answer to these questions are yes the illness is terminal, yes they are in pain, and no their quality of life will see them stuck in a cage and drugged to near senselessness until they die, then there really is only one option.

Trouble is that this option requires that you set aside your own pain, feelings of loss and guilt and let your pet go. They must come first and you have to be strong enough to end their suffering.

This is your obligation to them. Your needs shouldnt énter the picture and this is likely to be one of the hardest (yet selfless) decisions you'll ever have to make.

Ending the life of a much loved pet runs counter to nearly every instinct you're likely to have. Looking into their eyes knowing that you have to say goodbye forever is not something I'd wish on anyone.

This said, you also need to remember your responsibility to your pet. Namely that you need to ensure they suffer as little as possible and leave this world knowing that you love them and that they were the best thing that ever happened to you.

We just went through this with Bomber, our much loved black greyhound.

There was no good choices available to us and we put him to sleep.

It was my responsibility as his owner.

He was my dog and I made sure that he knew how much he was loved before he passed.

I bought Bombers body home and buried him. He was my dog and laying him to rest with as much love and dignity as possible was the very least I could do.

I'd be lying if I said that I am not hurting (I am horribly) and that I am not wracked with feelings of guilt at ending his life ( I am). I do however know that this was my only real choice as Bombers illness was terminal and he was in an incredible amount of pain.

So please when you adopt or when you are next cuddled up to your pet, please contemplate the unspoken contract you have with them. Doing so might help a little should you ever be faced with such a horrible situation.

RIP Bomber (Lochinvar Elle)

died aged 6.5 years

We love you and miss you Bomber